MakeSnobberyHistory
Remember the mumblers? Well, they brought in reinforcements. Of the worst kind.
They've brought in the elitist snobs.
You know the kind - the people who dismiss your opinion because said opinion is one they do not hold themselves. I advise you to stay clear of cinema's and recordstores, because that's where you most likely will stumble upon such a person. You won't know it by looking at them, but they're there, preying on the unsuspected, forever getting ready to jump you and force their obviously superior opinions upon you.
It's the kind of people who insist upon going to tiny obscure arthouse theatres to go see the latest cinematographical masterpiece hailing from Uzbekistan starring several amoebea which are about to go on a roaring rampage within a cherrypit because they are upset with the Bush administration.
It's the kind of people who insist upon stuffing their iPod-clone with this quadruple amputee who lives in the woods in France in a building made up out of his own feces and who plays his banjo with his flaccid penis because he genuinely believes this sounds better than when he does it with his face.
It's the kind of people who get a persisitent rash whenever you mention anything inside the generally accepted mainstream to them. Mainstream is to them what kryptonite is to superman; mainstream is to them what the common cold is to Wells' aliens; mainstream is to them what Katie Holmes is to a good movie. And it is in this supposed superiority that their weakness lies.
If, god forbid, you ever find yourself forced to be in the presence of such a person, do not hesitate to put on your Spiderman II t-shirt, the one with sleeves short enough to reveal your Peter Jackson tattoo; strap your iPod to your Levi's and play Coldplay as hard as you can while making sure the 'MakeTradeFair' logo written on your hand is clearly visible; rave on about the superb acting abilities of Lindsey lohan, and how she was snubbed at last years Acadmy Awards ceremony for Freaky Friday; recite every single Dave Matthews Band lyric out loud. Backwards and in Klingon, if needs be.
That'll have them running.
And if not, just smack the bastards upside the head. But be sure to do it fast.
Cheers
They've brought in the elitist snobs.
You know the kind - the people who dismiss your opinion because said opinion is one they do not hold themselves. I advise you to stay clear of cinema's and recordstores, because that's where you most likely will stumble upon such a person. You won't know it by looking at them, but they're there, preying on the unsuspected, forever getting ready to jump you and force their obviously superior opinions upon you.
It's the kind of people who insist upon going to tiny obscure arthouse theatres to go see the latest cinematographical masterpiece hailing from Uzbekistan starring several amoebea which are about to go on a roaring rampage within a cherrypit because they are upset with the Bush administration.
It's the kind of people who insist upon stuffing their iPod-clone with this quadruple amputee who lives in the woods in France in a building made up out of his own feces and who plays his banjo with his flaccid penis because he genuinely believes this sounds better than when he does it with his face.
It's the kind of people who get a persisitent rash whenever you mention anything inside the generally accepted mainstream to them. Mainstream is to them what kryptonite is to superman; mainstream is to them what the common cold is to Wells' aliens; mainstream is to them what Katie Holmes is to a good movie. And it is in this supposed superiority that their weakness lies.
If, god forbid, you ever find yourself forced to be in the presence of such a person, do not hesitate to put on your Spiderman II t-shirt, the one with sleeves short enough to reveal your Peter Jackson tattoo; strap your iPod to your Levi's and play Coldplay as hard as you can while making sure the 'MakeTradeFair' logo written on your hand is clearly visible; rave on about the superb acting abilities of Lindsey lohan, and how she was snubbed at last years Acadmy Awards ceremony for Freaky Friday; recite every single Dave Matthews Band lyric out loud. Backwards and in Klingon, if needs be.
That'll have them running.
And if not, just smack the bastards upside the head. But be sure to do it fast.
Cheers
14 Comments:
I'm pretty sure most people would be running at that point. Spiderman 2, like it or not, you are a geek if you have a T-shirt with it.
I think I know where you got inspiration to this post, although I would have thought reading would have been the target then.
I find that sort of snobbery stupid, and yet I do it myself sometime. Never said I was bright though.
I do it myself, sometimes, too, but always as a joke, never seriously.
I cannot stand it.
Cheers
Snobs are everywhere and thier population is growing in leaps and bounds on a daily basis. The music and movie snobs are the most popular, if you will, of the brood. There are new political snobs, wine/beer snobs and the ever popular class snob. The ones who can't understand why you wouldn't strive to own five Mercedes and live in a house the size of a small country. As if that's all there is to life.
I am all for having an open mind to things, but when it closes it to anything else, that makes that person not only a snob, but an idiot.
My two cents. And no, I don't give change :)
Amen, sister!
United we stand.
Cheers
You're right about Lindsay Lohan. ROBBED!!!
Hey, let's start a riot. A worldwide riot to end snobbery. I'll take care of US, you take care of Netherlands, Rep5hish can take care of Australia.
This could work, dammit!
Cheers
I'll handle New Zealand, even though it'll probably mean napalming my favourite record shops.
Aaargh!
It seems Australia is lost. A blessing in disguise, really - Australia is an island, so the problem is containable. Plus, it offers us a location to deport all the other snobs to.
Ahh, the good old times.
Cheers
Good idea! New Zealand has been deporting all of our snobs to Australia for years, where they all live happy and fulfilling lives collecting unemployment.
This could be big!
Cheers
Holy shit!
Look what I started!
I have friends over in London so UK is pretty much taken care of.
Imagine us on Time Magazine's cover: a bald guy who cries coz his pillow is too wet, an armless walking green man with one hair and a knife.
Imagine that!
By the way, the grammar was perfect this time, wasn't it?
Vive la revolution!!
And yes, your Grammar was correct. Kudos.
:)
Cheers
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