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Monday, December 15, 2008

Recollections.

We are driving down the 1 near Eden, in the southern most tip of New South Wales. We pitched our tent in the unoriginally named Garden of Eden earlier this afternoon and we decided to go for a drive, to explore the surroundings and perhaps even find a bite to eat. We failed at the latter; people in this part of New South Wales apparently have no need for sustenance.
IndentDusk is upon us and the sun is slowly setting behind the forested hills that line the road we're on. The sky to our left is painted orange, pink and blue, which off-sets spectacularly against the dark green hills; a last explosion of colour before the world disappears into darkness.
Indent"Look at that sunset," you say. "That would be perfect if that silly hill wasn't in the way."
Indent"I know!" I say, before I add "Hold on," and I suddenly brake hard. A flick of the wrist and we turn into a narrow dirt road, leading off into the forest, towards the sunset. I turn on the headlights because night falls rapidly, especially under the thick canopy of the great forest we're driving into. "Let's go catch ourselves a sunset."
IndentThe radio slowly loses its signal.

Minutes pass.

The road twists and turns deeper into the forest. We lost sight of the sunset a while ago, long enough ago for it to have faded and disappeared, and all remaining daylight with it. The darkness seems to thicken, like a thick cloth has been draped across the trees just an inch outside our sightline. It is becoming oppressive.
IndentThe road has narrowed and worsened to such a degree that I had to slow down considerably. The forest is thicker here and the trees look older and wiser, and more menacing. We have reached the point where we no longer make jokes about this silly adventure we're on; now we just want to find a main road again, and get back to our little tent like none of this happened.

Minutes pass.

"How could this have happened?" Your voice, soft and coarse, breaks the silence of the forest, startling me.
Indent"I wish I knew," I say after a few contemplative seconds, as I glance towards you. Your eyes catch mine for an instant and you place your hand on my thigh. "I wish I knew."
Indent"Can't we just reverse and go back, you know, to before?"
IndentI glance into the rear view mirror and see the dirt road disappearing in absolute darkness behind us, like it's being eaten up by time creeping up on us. We can see only in front of us, and even then only as far as our headlights will reach. "I don't think we can. We can go only forward. This time we took a road we can't back out of, not even with all the goodwill in the world. We'll just have to see where it takes us." I look at you again and see your big brown eyes glistening with fear and sadness. "But give it a few minutes, sweetie, maybe we'll get somewhere with a little bit of time."
Indent"Yeah. A few minutes. Who knows."

Minutes pass.

We come to a sharp corner to the right. I have to slow to a crawl, it's so narrow. Suddenly I brake and all we see are trees. Trees and darkness. Behind us, to our left, our right, even in front of us. There is no more road. We both know what this means. We sit in silence for a few minutes.
IndentI switch off the ignition but leave the headlights on. The soft crackle of the radio dies along with the engine, plunging us into a new level of all-encompassing silence. I turn towards you and take your hands in mine. I move closer and I see your eyes welling up in tears. Mine do, too. As I kiss your forehead tenderly I feel warm tears falling on my hands, still gripping yours. I can not tell whose tears they are, but it no longer matters, they are ours. I hug you, and you hug me back. I whisper in your ear 'I will miss you so much'. Finally we disengage and I sit back into my seat, facing forward, seeing nothing but darkness through the windshield.
IndentI swallow, take one last look at you, and you at me, and I kill the headlights.

This is the end of the road for us.

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