Recollections.

We're sitting opposite each other, cross-legged, on the ledge of the Neptunbrunnen just off the Alexanderplatz. To my right, your left, stands the Red City Hall, its clock pointing to just before noon, and on our opposite side mighty Neptune sits, surrounded by adoring cherubs, water gushing forth from his throne. Behind you, in the distance, the TV tower looms over us and behind me a voluptuous female figure lies, her copper body long since turned green but for her breasts, which have gone bare from tourist hands. Between us stand two Venti Starbucks cups; my latté empty, your hot chocolate half full. It is january 1st, just above freezing point, but we have swaddled ourselves in enough layers of fabric to not notice the cold mist coming from the fountain.
IndentYou peel the thin black gloves from your hands and grab hold of your styrofoam cup. You close your eyes and smile as the warmth creeps into your hands and crawls up your wrists and forearms like an army of fire ants. You open your eyes and look at me, your large brown eyes radiating the warmth your hands are soaking up. You lift the cup and take a sip. Your throat bobbles as you swallow, your eyes still on me.
Indent"Okay, let me have it," I say.
Indent"What?" you ask, after you've put the cup back down on the concrete between our knees. You avoid eye contact and avert your attention to putting the gloves back on, but your smile betrays you.
IndentI roll my eyes in mock-weariness, lift my gloved hands to my face and rub some warmth back into my cheeks. "Spill it," I say. "You've got something on your mind. Probably one of those left-field questions you're always asking." A smile escapes my lips.
IndentYou bat your eyelids coyly, tiny droplets of water flying from them. I can tell you're considering denying it, opposing me, but you decide against it.
Indent"Okay," you suddenly blurt out. You straighten your back and scoot a tiny bit closer to me, then lean forward. I do, too, and our noses are almost touching. You start whispering conspiratorially, as if sharing matters of national security.
Indent"Listen," you say. "I think you're perfect, you know that." I blink twice, look away, smile. "But you can't always have been perfect," you add. "Tell me something about you that's imperfect. Astound me with your perfect imperfections."
IndentI smile an insecure smile and lean back. "You know me better than anyone. You know all my imperfections. What do you want me to tell you?"
Indent"I don't know!" you say. "Something ... something silly, something embarrassing. Tell me a childhood memory you're ashamed of." You contemplate this for a second before you add: "Yeah, a silly memory. Tell me a silly memory."
IndentI take a deep breath and look up at the TV tower behind you. "Sheesh!" I pick up my cup, shake it, put it back down. Several seconds later I look at you. "Nope. I got nothing. Sorry."
IndentYou laught out loud. "You big fat liar! I know that smile. You got something, don't you? I'll share my hot chocolate with you if you tell, how's that?"
IndentI look at you, your eyes unwavering, your hands clasping your cup, steam still rising from the drink hole in the plastic lid. "You can keep your hot chocolate. I tell a silly memory, you tell a silly memory. That's the deal. Take it or leave it."
IndentYou contemplate it for a second before you shrug and lift your eyebrows, giving me your 'sure, whatever'-face. "You start."
IndentI lean forward, our noses almost touching again, the fog from my breath enveloping your face. "Back when I was, I don't know, seven or eight years old, one of my best friends was .. well, my pillow." You frown and from this close up I can see the small water droplets in your eyebrows quivering from the sudden movement. You shake your head quizically.
Indent"His name was Arnold. He was like an animal, only without any external features or something. I don't know, I was seven, it made sense back then." You nod, your eyes egging me on. "Its sole purpose was keeping me safe at night, while I slept. I often imagined Arnold waging epic battles with demons of all sorts while I was snugly napping the night away. I talked to him, despite him never responding. And do you know why I thought all this? Why I made up this elaborate fantasy?"
IndentYou shake your head silently, slowly. "I do not," you whisper.
Indent"For years I was convinced my pillow had a heart. Whenever I was lying in bed, my head on the pillow, I could hear his little heart beating eagerly, close to my face, my ear. I could feel his heartbeat, I really could. A slow double-thump, every second or so."
IndentI pause for dramatic effect, looking at a mangy pigeon pecking away at cigarette buds and chewing gum. People milling around us, the hard G's and heavy U's of the German language surrounding us. I look you in the eye before I continue.
Indent"It was years before I figured out I was listening to my own pulse, from my wrist and hand which I always snugly slid under my pillow. Years."
IndentThe pigeon flies off at the sound of your laughter, a loud, uproarious belly laugh. You arch your back and place your hands behind you on the ledge. "Okay," you say. "That is kind of silly."
Indent"I know," I say. "You asked for silly, and I got you silly." I lean back as well, the cold having made my joints stiff. "Your turn."
IndentYour hand suddenly lunges out and you splash freezing cold water in my face. "Are you crazy?" you shriek, laughing. "I'm not going to tell you any embarrassing memories!" You swivel your legs out from under you, turn away and lift yourself off the ledge before I can respond. I watch you walking away as I feel drops of cold water seeping down my chest. "Come on!" you shout over your shoulder. "Let's go get lunch somewhere!"
IndentI grab your cup and take a large sip of lukewarm chocolate before I quickly pop the lid off and scoop some fountain water into the cup. I pop the lid back on, crawl off the ledge, and run after you.