Overheard in the subway (of my mind).

How many Communion wafers would you have to eat to consume a whole Jesus?
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Obituaries: love classifieds for necrophiliac morticians.
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Since the creation of the internet the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by English teachers collectively spinning in their graves.
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This line doesn't rhyme,
And neither does this one.***
You know what would be funny? Getting a bunch of jews, herding them into a shower cubicle, and gassing them with that funny voice stuff, helium. They would be shrieking I'm gonna die! sounding like crazy cartoon characters.

Film it, YouTube it; it'd be a massive hit in the day and a half it would take the internet gods to ban it forever.

I'd apologise but I cannot be held accountable for what the voices in my head say.