QTHBBMADN.
Perhaps better known as 'Question That Has Been Bothering Me All Day Now'.
Why is it that, whenever I sneeze, I sneeze again, about two seconds later?
I pondered this for a while (what? I was bored. Shut the fuck up!), and I think I've figured it out; I have two possible solutions. Hear me out.
A sneeze isn't just irritation in the passages of the nose caused by pollens or dust or anything. A sneeze isn't just a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the nose and mouth. No no, it's more than that.
A sneeze is, in many ways, comparable to WindowsXP's AutoRestore feature. Said feature lets you return Windows to an earlier state, to a state before something catastrofic happened to your computer. A sneeze does the same thing, only for the entire Universe.
A sneeze is an intergalactic vibration, which uses your body as a starting point, and which rapidly oscillates throught the entire Space-Time continuum, alerting it to the fact that something catastrofic has just occured somewhere in the Universe. Something that was never supposed to happen, but happened none the less.
And when the Universe receives this message, it rapidly assesses the situation at hand, and if needs be, it resets itself, in a way. It, in its entirety, jumps back two or three seconds - time actually goes back a few seconds throughout the entire galaxy. However, to prevent every living being from blacking out during those moments, which would only cause more mayhem than the time-skip is trying to solve, we stay conscious during those precious fractions of time.
I'll exemplify: Suppose that somewhere, sometime, two planets collide, resulting in the complete annihilation of two dominant and important races. The instant the planets actually collide, someone, somewhere sneezes, to alert the Universe to the fact that something happened. The Universe takes note, investigates, and takes action, by skipping back two or three seconds. It then prevents the collision from happening by, say, nullifying gravity or reversing magnetic fields.
So, basically, this galaxy-saving flipping back in time coupled with us staying conscious during this temporal phenomenon causes us to experience the same ever-important sneeze twice.
Sounds plausible, no?
It's either that, or it takes more than one sneeze to expell the average amount of dust from the nose. But if you believe that, you'll believe anything.
Cheers
Why is it that, whenever I sneeze, I sneeze again, about two seconds later?
I pondered this for a while (what? I was bored. Shut the fuck up!), and I think I've figured it out; I have two possible solutions. Hear me out.
A sneeze isn't just irritation in the passages of the nose caused by pollens or dust or anything. A sneeze isn't just a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the nose and mouth. No no, it's more than that.
A sneeze is, in many ways, comparable to WindowsXP's AutoRestore feature. Said feature lets you return Windows to an earlier state, to a state before something catastrofic happened to your computer. A sneeze does the same thing, only for the entire Universe.
A sneeze is an intergalactic vibration, which uses your body as a starting point, and which rapidly oscillates throught the entire Space-Time continuum, alerting it to the fact that something catastrofic has just occured somewhere in the Universe. Something that was never supposed to happen, but happened none the less.
And when the Universe receives this message, it rapidly assesses the situation at hand, and if needs be, it resets itself, in a way. It, in its entirety, jumps back two or three seconds - time actually goes back a few seconds throughout the entire galaxy. However, to prevent every living being from blacking out during those moments, which would only cause more mayhem than the time-skip is trying to solve, we stay conscious during those precious fractions of time.
I'll exemplify: Suppose that somewhere, sometime, two planets collide, resulting in the complete annihilation of two dominant and important races. The instant the planets actually collide, someone, somewhere sneezes, to alert the Universe to the fact that something happened. The Universe takes note, investigates, and takes action, by skipping back two or three seconds. It then prevents the collision from happening by, say, nullifying gravity or reversing magnetic fields.
So, basically, this galaxy-saving flipping back in time coupled with us staying conscious during this temporal phenomenon causes us to experience the same ever-important sneeze twice.
Sounds plausible, no?
It's either that, or it takes more than one sneeze to expell the average amount of dust from the nose. But if you believe that, you'll believe anything.
Cheers
5 Comments:
What the hell are you doing up thinking about sneezing at 3 in the morning?
OK, so why do I always sneeze in threes? Hmmmmm.
Snake: You mean you don't think of sneezing at 3 AM?
Becky: Erm ..
.. you're malfunctioning! Yes.
Cheers
With posts like this, how could you think your blog is shitty?
Is that sarcasm I sense?
Cheers
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