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Saturday, September 03, 2005

Aight, 'fess up, dammit!

Which one of you is it?! Tell me!

Who the hell is buying all of Gwen Stefani's singles in bulk? Every fucking single she puts out there turns into bloody gold, and I simply refuse to believe that humanity as a whole has sunk so low that more than one person buys this shit. I mean, c'mon! Take her latest monstrosity, 'Cool'; isn't that the blandest thing you have ever, ever heard!?

Conclusion? There's one financially independent person out there who's buying every copy of every single she makes. And I know, I just know it's one of you.

So, 'fess up, dammit!

Cheers

13 Comments:

Blogger Silence said...

I was out of toiletpaper.

12:33 am  
Blogger Martin said...

So you wipe your ass with CD's?

Ah, yes, 'splains it all.

Cheers

12:49 am  
Blogger The Snakehead said...

I'm sorry. So so sorry. I promise next time I won't do it again.

Again, I'm so sorry. I didn't meant for it to hurt anybody, much less the little armless walking green man. How can I make it up to you? Would running those singles over with a bulldozer help?

3:43 am  
Blogger Martin said...

Snake, dude, nevermind ..

.. we're cool.

(Aaaaargh!!)

Cheers

4:32 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's me. I'm trying to send her enough money to revive her nasty, crunchy, fried hair.

5:07 am  
Blogger Pep said...

Jus don't call me a Hollaback Girl, ok?
Coooooooooooool!

:P

10:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember the first time I saw the video for "Let Me Blow Your Mind" by Eve, and thinking "When did the chick from No Doubt turn into a skanky ho?"

2:02 am  
Blogger Martin said...

Ah yes, No Doubt. A.k.a. The Pretty Decent Band That Was Ruthlessly Put Down Like A Rabid Dog By Gwen Stefani And Her Ego.

Cheers

7:46 am  
Blogger Darrell said...

A wonderful group called H.O.P.E. (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) has a program wherein kids can trade in their Ashley Simpson CDs for a CD by an actual musician. Maybe they can start something similar for Stefani CDs.

1:10 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone said to me recently, "Noone born after 1980 knows anything about good music, nor will they ever." I am starting to agree.

2:28 am  
Blogger Martin said...

Darrel - excellent idea, we should set something up.

Pearce - I was born in 1980. Am I a lost soul, also?

Cheers

1:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You just snuck in under the wire.

Just think - in a few decades, when all of us old fogies have died, noone will be able to tell good music from bad music anymore. Then ALL our records will be by Gwen Stefani!

4:35 am  
Blogger Martin said...

I shudder at the thought.

Cheers

10:26 am  

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