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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Chris Isaak is a clever man.

You remember Chris Isaak, right?

Back in 1990 he'd written a new song, and the ensuing conversation with the record company must've gone something like this:

...

Chris Isaak - Hello, person representing the record company.

Person Representing the Record Company - Hello, Chris Isaak. How are you?

CI - I am well, for I have written a new song. It is called 'Wicked Game', and it will prove to be a massive hit.

PRTRC - Oh, rejoice, such great news. We must market this new song of yours properly, so that we can make as much money off of it as possible. I imagine you'll be wanting to make a music video. Any suggestions, Chris Isaak?

CI - Why, yes, person representing the record company, my ideas are as follows. I suggest we hire gorgeous top-model Helena Christensen to slowly strip naked in front of me on a white beach, after which she'll be rubbing her naked body up against me for the remaining three minutes of the video. How does that sounds?

...

And get this - he got exactly what he wanted!

Cheers

35 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would've chosen someone else.

5:58 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

Yeah, but you're a girl.

Cheers

7:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a horrible song *lol* Geez. But I do remember the video. I also would've chosen someone else.

7:00 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

I refer you to my previous answer.

Cheers

7:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That don't work with us, Martin!

9:12 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude i LOVED THAT SONG! i still do!!!

i think Helena is hot too. That we can agree on Mr. Martin!

10:16 pm  
Blogger Silence said...

First Angelina and now this... Damn you got really bad taste in women. :-)

10:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah the "You're a girl" thing doesn't cut it Martin. I'm bisexual, you know this. And I'm like...the worst kind of pig about women. But nice try.

12:54 am  
Blogger Martin said...

Brynn and Lies - ganging up against me, are you?

Nique - Finally, someone agreeing!

Hay - yeah, I know, but try telling my girlfriend that. No, seriously, I can understand why someone wouldn't like Angelina, she a love-her-or-hate-her kinda person, but Helena Christensen?!

Come on! (I sincerely hope you were being sarcastic.)

Cheers

1:10 am  
Blogger Tim said...

That video was awesome. She was hot, lies and brynn are crazy.

5:37 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

Agreed!

Cheers

5:41 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I will not stand for such abuse!

5:54 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

Yada yada yada.

Cheers

5:57 pm  
Blogger nique said...

Seriously I'm siding w/ the men on this one. How can you not think Helena is gorgeous?
I mean her eyes alone are captivating enough!

5:58 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not saying she's ugly, nique, I'm just saying I would've picked someone else myself. Someone more to my own liking, you know?

6:01 pm  
Blogger nique said...

lies- I'm interested to know who your selection would be.

Would you go super model? actress? or just a hot "nobody"?

6:30 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know. I'd have to give that some serious thought... Supermodels would make me feel really selfconscious, so I don't think I'd go for them. Then again, actresses would do exactly the same thing, so... Hmm. Can I get back to you on this?

9:47 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

Yes, you can - I'll be expecting an answer by this time tomorrow.

Cheers

11:54 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been thinking it through and I can't make up my mind, so I'm gonna go with the person that first came to mind: Cristina Scabbia. Looks lovely, has a nice singing voice, wears gorgeous clothes I could steal and is a nice person. Hehe.

2:52 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

Let's go over the list here:

- Looks lovely - ok, I can live with that.

- Nice singing voice - she doesn't have to sing, so that's useless.

- Gorgeous clothes - no no, no clothes; that's the entire point.

- She's nice - Now, who on earth cares about that?!

Cheers

9:53 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Martin, you obviously didn't think this through.

1) gorgeous = sine qua non;
2) nice singing voice means there's room for a follow-up, i.e. I get to visit her in her clip;
3) gorgeous clothes I'm in desperate need of;
4) nice: this is the woman I'm going to have to be around all day, if not longer (see, for instance, 2), so she'd better be nice or I'd be chewing off my own head by noon. Besides (and this may be the woman in me talking), it's kinda nice to feel comfortable around the person you're going to get wet with.

There!

11:40 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

Okay, okay, okay already!

Whatever floats your boat. I'll have Helena and Angelina, and you can have this Cristina Scabbia person.

Capiche?

Cheers

11:48 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sure you don't want a nibble of mine?

12:00 am  
Blogger Martin said...

Hmm.

You know what, I'll have all three, and you have none. How's that?

And you can't complain, because it's my blog anyway.

Cheers

12:02 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're a big meanie! :o(

But we (Cristina and I) will always have the kebab place. (I know, it's not exactly Paris, but still... it's the best I can do.)

12:08 am  
Blogger Martin said...

She likes kebab, eh?

Thanks for the tip, I know this great kebab-place in Montmartre.

Cheers

12:10 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have absolutely no idea. We ran into two of her bandmates at this kebab place after one of their shows and when we walked out and saw their van, my friend wanted to go over there and ask her for an autograph. I felt ashamed, but I went along anyway. She might be a vegetarian for all I know. (Remind me to ask her before we start shooting the video. I don't want to kiss a meat mouth.)

12:16 am  
Blogger Martin said...

I just realised - the only thing better than a Chris Isaak video with Helena Christensen stripping naked and all, is a Chris Isaak video with Helena Christensen stripping naked and all, and with Chris Isaak replaced by another woman.

What a brilliant idea of yours!

Cheers

12:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, but then there wouldn't be a precedent, and you wouldn't get to have Helena at all! You'd just be a guy with a boner in front of the tube.

12:26 am  
Blogger Martin said...

Meh, I'll settle for that.

Cheers

12:28 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How very conservative of you. :P

Good night!

12:30 am  
Blogger nique said...

This was hilarious! Miss Scabbia is hot. I concur again. Nice choice.

And the whole boner statement was super funny! You two are like squabbling brother and sister! Great entertainment!

6:39 pm  
Blogger Martin said...

Yeah, but any statement about a boner is funny to you. Go on, admit it.

Cheers

7:02 pm  
Blogger nique said...

you are sooo right! boner is a really funny word!

so is cooter!

12:20 am  
Blogger Martin said...

Cooter you say?

Cheers

3:21 am  

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