Ways to annoy people.

Are you ever bored? Of course you are, we all are, every now and again. And what do we do when we're bored? Indeed, we annoy the living daylights out of people! What else?!

Here's a comprehensive list of things to do when bored:

1. Order doughnuts from your local doughnut shop and when you get them, sit on the floor and in a childish voice insist that you did not recieve enough chocolate sprinkles.
2. Tell anyone and everyone if and when you have to use the bathroom.
3. Ask waitresses for an extra seat for your imaginary friend.
4. When buying goldfish ask if they come with chips.
5. Change your name to John Aaaaaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Say it's hawaiian and insist that everyone must pronounce all of the A's separately.
6. Set and leave the copy machine at 200%, Bold, Extra dark , 99 Copies.
7. Insist on buying plane tickets for friends. Make sure that the plane leaves at 5:00 in the morning. Point out that you did not save them any money.
8. Go up to people in public and ask "Are you annoyed by irrelevent questions?" Then walk off.
9. Respond to everything anyone says with "That's pumpkins".
10. Inform everyone they exist only in your imagination.
11. Run into class screaming "I got a paper"! Then throw it out the window. Scream "There is my paper"! Then run down, retrieve the paper, and repeat until you get thrown out of class.
12. Call mcDonalds and ask to make reservations for that night.
13. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
14. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
15. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
16. Sniffle incessantly.
17. Name your dog "Dog".
18. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Practice making fax and modem noises.
21. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
22. Drum on every available surface.
23. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
24. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
26. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
29. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
30. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go", then sigh and say "oops!"

And that was that. Go. Practice.

Cheers