I'm turning into a goddamn woman.
Well, the title says it all, doesnt't it?
But, judging by the puzzled looks on all your faces, I think this warrants an explanation.
The backstory - It all started with a desperate need for a pair of pants. See, I'm a tall guy, and tall guys tend to have long legs. This makes finding a decent pair of pants a nerve-racking experience, which I try to avoid at all cost. But every so often you glance into the black hole that is your closet, and you come to a grave decision; "buy pants I must". (I tend to think in Yoda-speak.)
Okay, so I drag my girlfriend to the nearest jeans-centre and tell her to pick one out for me, which she dutifully does. She finds a nice pair, and then, as always, the universe conspires against me and makes every single pair of pants in my size magically disappear. Except for one, which has the length, but is one teeney-tiny size too small in width. But hey, I'm a manly man, I'm trying this baby on for size! And guess what? It fits. Somewhat.
So what if they're tighter than my usual pairs of pants? Nothing wrong with tighter pants. I mean, it's not skintight, just, you know, tighter.
The situation: It's saturday, which means work. I'd been wearing my brand spanking new pair of pants to a film yesterday, so when I got up this morning I automatically put those back on. Now, my work is the kinda work where you get (somewhat) dirty - I'm lugging my ass up and down a dusty and dirty warehouse, moving boxes from one place to another (hey, it's parttime - shut the fuck up!), so you're bound to end up somewhat dirty at the end of your shift; this is why I always make a point out of wearing older shirts and sweaters to work, which tend to be somewhat shorter than usual.
The crux of the matter: This is rather difficult to admit, but I'm gonna anyway. My job involves a lot of bending over and picking stuff up. Therefore, before I went to work, I ended up ..(dramatic pause).. changing my pants, because I didn't ..(deep breath).. feel comfortable with my tightly wrapped ass in plain view like that. There. I said it. It's out there. Shit.
Do you get the title now? I'm turning into a goddamn woman!
I hang my head in shame.
Excuse me, I'm off to scratch my balls and belch the alphabet while watching German porn.
Cheers
But, judging by the puzzled looks on all your faces, I think this warrants an explanation.
The backstory - It all started with a desperate need for a pair of pants. See, I'm a tall guy, and tall guys tend to have long legs. This makes finding a decent pair of pants a nerve-racking experience, which I try to avoid at all cost. But every so often you glance into the black hole that is your closet, and you come to a grave decision; "buy pants I must". (I tend to think in Yoda-speak.)
Okay, so I drag my girlfriend to the nearest jeans-centre and tell her to pick one out for me, which she dutifully does. She finds a nice pair, and then, as always, the universe conspires against me and makes every single pair of pants in my size magically disappear. Except for one, which has the length, but is one teeney-tiny size too small in width. But hey, I'm a manly man, I'm trying this baby on for size! And guess what? It fits. Somewhat.
So what if they're tighter than my usual pairs of pants? Nothing wrong with tighter pants. I mean, it's not skintight, just, you know, tighter.
The situation: It's saturday, which means work. I'd been wearing my brand spanking new pair of pants to a film yesterday, so when I got up this morning I automatically put those back on. Now, my work is the kinda work where you get (somewhat) dirty - I'm lugging my ass up and down a dusty and dirty warehouse, moving boxes from one place to another (hey, it's parttime - shut the fuck up!), so you're bound to end up somewhat dirty at the end of your shift; this is why I always make a point out of wearing older shirts and sweaters to work, which tend to be somewhat shorter than usual.
The crux of the matter: This is rather difficult to admit, but I'm gonna anyway. My job involves a lot of bending over and picking stuff up. Therefore, before I went to work, I ended up ..(dramatic pause).. changing my pants, because I didn't ..(deep breath).. feel comfortable with my tightly wrapped ass in plain view like that. There. I said it. It's out there. Shit.
Do you get the title now? I'm turning into a goddamn woman!
I hang my head in shame.
Excuse me, I'm off to scratch my balls and belch the alphabet while watching German porn.
Cheers
6 Comments:
LOL. It's alright Martin. Can your girl sew it back up and return it? Do they have a wash and wear policy? I hope the tighty whiteys were clean. whoops.. Did I just say that out loud?
Damn, you're fast.
And for the record, I didn't think I'd tear out of my pants - I just didn't want the world to see my (rather) tightly wrapped hunniebunnies.
I'm a shy guy, deep down.
Cheers
Must. Stop. Doing. That.
Cheers
It's fun, being a woman is! Now baggy pants... That's an entirely different set of problems.
Lies
hysterical! are you afraid your ass is just too luscious for your co-workers to really see? that if in fact you are bending over and they notice what a nice ass you have...there might be an uncomfortable confrontation? ; )
Yup, uh huh, that's it!
Cheers
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