I'm a mess-age.

I've been home sick with the flue these past few days, but I have been corresponding with a colleague through e-mail, which fills me with subtle pangs of guilt because were you to see me (I'm an unshaven mess) or listen to me, you'd know I'm not feeling all that well, but you wouldn't know that from reading an e-mail I wrote; I sound fairly reasonable and clear-minded in them. What it comes down to is this: e-mail is a terrible medium for conveying a certain degree of illness to the reader on the other end of the glass fiber wiring. I constantly feel this urge to intersperse these e-mails with the occasional *cough*, just to assauge my (unjustly) guilty conscience.



So what I propose is developing a revolutionary new font, one that allows you to say exactly what you want, just as you always do, but that also, simply by its shape, angle, colour and size, conveys a message of 'Look, listen. I might be making a great deal of sense in this e-mail, but do not misunderstand, I am walking around in sweatpants all day, puking all over myself every once in a while. Plus, diarrhoea. Uh huh.'

Is that too much to ask?