Story time.
A strange thing happened the other day.
I'm sitting at home, minding my own business, when the doorbell rings. I look through the peephole, and don't see anyone, so I go back, and continue minding my own business. Seconds later, again, the doorbell. I look again, and, you guessed it, no one. But I decide to open the door anyway.
Turns out there's a Jehovah's Witness sitting in front of my door. Only, it isn't a Jehovah's Witness, it's a giant worm, about the size of an adult man's arm, only thicker. And it's a Jehovah's Witness.
"Do you feel God's love in your daily life", he/she/it asks me, rather matter of factly, but I simply can't get over the fact that there's a giant worm at my door, let alone that it is preaching the word of God.
"But, wait," I said. "You're a worm, a giant worm?!" It shakes what I suspect is its head dejectively, and says, slightly annoyed "Yes, yes I am. But that is not the point, sir. My point is that God loves you, and that--".
I don't let him finish, because I'm still fascinated by it's blatant wormness. "So, like, if I were to cut you in half, would that leave me with two Jehovah's Witnesses?" I asked it, genuinely excited by the idea. It hadn't expected that question, and ponders it for a second before snapping back to reality. "Sir, Jesus died for your sins and this notion can--".
Again I don't let it finish. I say to him as I step away from the door and head towards the kitchen in a hurry: "Hang on, I'll go get a knife!"
It was gone when I came back, seconds later, leaving only a slimey trail, glistening silver in the shady light of my porch.
True story.
Cheers
I'm sitting at home, minding my own business, when the doorbell rings. I look through the peephole, and don't see anyone, so I go back, and continue minding my own business. Seconds later, again, the doorbell. I look again, and, you guessed it, no one. But I decide to open the door anyway.
Turns out there's a Jehovah's Witness sitting in front of my door. Only, it isn't a Jehovah's Witness, it's a giant worm, about the size of an adult man's arm, only thicker. And it's a Jehovah's Witness.
"Do you feel God's love in your daily life", he/she/it asks me, rather matter of factly, but I simply can't get over the fact that there's a giant worm at my door, let alone that it is preaching the word of God.
"But, wait," I said. "You're a worm, a giant worm?!" It shakes what I suspect is its head dejectively, and says, slightly annoyed "Yes, yes I am. But that is not the point, sir. My point is that God loves you, and that--".
I don't let him finish, because I'm still fascinated by it's blatant wormness. "So, like, if I were to cut you in half, would that leave me with two Jehovah's Witnesses?" I asked it, genuinely excited by the idea. It hadn't expected that question, and ponders it for a second before snapping back to reality. "Sir, Jesus died for your sins and this notion can--".
Again I don't let it finish. I say to him as I step away from the door and head towards the kitchen in a hurry: "Hang on, I'll go get a knife!"
It was gone when I came back, seconds later, leaving only a slimey trail, glistening silver in the shady light of my porch.
True story.
Cheers
3 Comments:
I don't belive you unless your gf confirms the story.
I believe him. He'ds never lied to me before, and he's hilarious.
Me never having lied to you before may have something to do with me not knowing who you are. At all.
But you're right, I'm hilarious. Insanely so.
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