Meet Harold.
| This is Harold. He is about a foot and a half tall; this is because he is a Gnome. I found him in the cupboard the other day, while looking for some biscuits; he'd eaten them all. After trying to run away several times, and failing miserably, due to an unforeseeable and insurmountably huge obstacle called 'my right foot', he started talking to me. He claims to be the leader of a massive Gnome Army. The army is massive, the Gnomes aren't. They're tiny.
He's busy, right now. I sent him out to get new biscuits. He won't escape, because I made him leave his wallet. Yes, Gnomes have wallets, too. But soon, when he has more time, he will tell you all about his plan for world domination. Let me tell you, it's fascinating. I'll give some clues. It involves Harold, his massive Gnome Army, a giant clothes dryer located somewhere in South America, the mathematical number π , and cheese. Never underestimate cheese, Harold always says in his ridiculously tiny Gnome voice. Cheers |
16 Comments:
How do you expect Harold to get more biscuits with no wallet?
He's planning on world domination within the year; he's the leader of a massive Gnome army - he obviously has no scruples.
He'll steal 'em off some old lady.
Cheers
Just because he's planning world domination doesn't mean he has no scruples. Did Hilter not have... uh, nevermind... Stalin had... uh, hmm, George Bush has th... nah... you're right he'll just steal them of an old lady.
If he could infiltrate your home. Then we are all in danger. Thanks for the heads up. Will you be forming a task force to squash this rebellion?
you were looking for biscuits in the cupboard? what kind of biscuits?
did you know that the slogan for american cheese commercials is, "behold the power of cheese" ? well, now you know.
Tim - see?
Great One - I might, but first I have to see if I can turn the situation to my advantage. Imagine an entire army of these fellers at my command!
Nique - What? Biscuits can't be found in cupboards? And you have no idea of just how right that commercial is.
PK - Are you a foot and a half tall? No? No pointy red hat for you, then.
Cheers
if biscuits = crackers then yes, you will find them in the cupboard
if biscuits = biscuits then you will find them at any establishment that serves breakfast, at a bakery and/or in the form of dry mix in a box! (just add water! eww!)
cheese on crackers.... the best in the world. But as they have biscuits in the Netherlands we ought to try that for a change. Never underestimate the power of cheese on biscuits. Only safety cheese can prevent you from it!
wallace & gromit
The bastard told me his name was David!
— Lies
Cheese is evil :-(
:: LUNA ::
Lies - I hadn't told you? He's a compulsive liar, too.
Cheers
Fuck, when was the last time you got a CT scan???
Hahahahaha!!!
Good one, lad.
:)
What, you trying to tell me he ain't real?
What are you, mad?!
Cheers
But what about the hamsters?
a whisper*
Yeah, what about the hamsters?
Cheers
wait wait wait.. i can't get past this biscuit thingy.. do you mean bisquits like we americans call cookies and the enlish refer to as bisquits or bisquits as in the kind of dense bready thing that americans eat with meals and that the english refer to as er.. uh.. crap... i don't know what the english refer to bisquits..er.. uh.. never mind.. i only ask because it'll give me a better idea of if you had the "munchies" (a condition usually resultant upon indulgification of a certain herbal "remedy") when you discovered "harold".. then maybe i'll know how to better process this "army" concept. because if you were straight.. well.. we could be in a shitload of trouble....
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