Say what?!

As I've said numerous times before, I'm an avid reader. I'm always reading some book or other, as is the case right now. I'm currently reading Irvine Welsh's Porno, the sequel to the best British film ever, Trainspotting. Irvine Welsh is, apparently, a Scotsman. Now, usually, I have no problems with a bit of dialect incorporated within the dialogue of a book; I always figure it out sooner or later - more often sooner than later even. I've even had experience with the Scottish dialect - I've read numerous Iain Banks novels. But with this book, the dialect is so thick, so impenetrable, that it takes me ages to get through a page.

Time for an example:

-- Sounds like a cunt tae me, Joey Parke goes. Wee Parkie, ma best mate here, but some boy. Nae brakes, man, even worse thin moi. Good at steyin oaf it, bit cannae allow ehsel jist one tiny slip which wi aw huv fae time tae time. Ah mean, one wee gless ay wine wi ehs burd ower a nice candlelit dinner fir two, in fact, jist one wee sip oot ay the gless ay wine n two weeks later yi'll find um in sum crack den pure rockin n rollin.

What?! I simply cannot read that. Well, I can, of course, but it takes me quite some time to wrestle myself through a bit like that. Imagine entire pages of this stuff! Thank god there's only one character (so far) in the book that talks like this.

I like a bit of ethnicity as much as the next guy, but, come on, make it at least slightly accessible for non-Scots!

Put an 'H' after every 'S', like Sean Connery (Bond, Jamesh Bond) does, for all I care - then we'll all know where the character comes from!

Cheers