Homo sapiens pusillus.

This morning I woke up with something lodged in my throat. When, just now, I coughed it up, it turned out to be a tiny person; a tiny young woman, about an inch and a half tall, in fact. As soon as I coughed her up and placed her in front of me on my desk, she gave me an angry look, crossed her arms defensively, and sat down in a huff. To this point she refuses to talk to me, despite my proddings with the eraser end of a pencil.

She won't tell me how she got there, but I think she won't have to, because I vaguely remember eating a tiny baby, when I was very young myself, back when tiny babies were still considered yummie treats. She must have been living in my oesophagus or stomach all that time, surviving by eating bits of the food I was eating myself.

Impressive, no?

I'm not all cruel to her, you know. I do give her water and bread crumbs, which, to her, are huge. I think I'll set her free later today; take her outside and let her go, like you would a mouse or a spider - she deserves her freedom. She's cute, but it could never work between us. I prefer brunettes.

Cheers