Film review: Kingdom of Heaven.

Here you go, Hay - enjoy. Or not, possibly.


While reading up on this film, a certain quote arose a few times. It's quite fitting:

"There was a Knight, a most distinguished man,
Who from the day on which he first began
To ride abroad had followed chivalry,
Truth, honour, generousness and courtesy.
He had done nobly in his sovereign's war
And ridden into battle, no man more,
As well in Christian as in heathen places,
And ever honoured for his noble graces."

Geoffrey Chaucer - The Canterbury Tales.

Now for the review.

Summary: During the Crusades of the 12th Century, Balian of Ibelin, a young blacksmith in Jerusalem who becomes the baron of Ibelin through the father he never knew, rises to protect his peoples from the foreign invaders. Dust flies; madness ensues.


A not so good bit; Orlando Bloom. To prove my point: Edward Norton plays a king who, due to suffering of Leprosy, wears a mask for the entire length of the film, and even he has more facial expressions than Bloom. I sincerely believe that Bloom has but one facial expression, whether he's in heavy combat or romancing the Queen of Jerusalem or sullenly wandering through the desert; his face never changes. Keanu Reeves has more range than this guy.

That said, Ridley Scott's genius more than makes up for this. To, again, prove my point: When Saladin begins his attack on Jerusalem, we have a shot of our hero awaiting the battle. It is a three-part shot. First we see the moon, all smokey, then the camera pans down and we see a fluttering banner. These images are amazingly rich, with the smoke anticipating the waves of the banner. It is as if Scott tried to combine the sea, the rolling hills and the desert into those images. Then we move on down to our hero's face. In these ten seconds, Scott makes up for all Bloom's weaknesses.


Enough on details; let's get general.

As mentioned, the cinematography is absolutely stunning - Ridley Scott knows how to shoot an epic film (he proved this fact with 2000's Gladiator), and it is his veteran eye that saves this film from the celluloid dumpster. Every single shot is suffused with significance; every single scene is a short movie an sich. Ridley Scott is one of the best directors out there today.

The cast is star-studded, and they do what they are paid for. All, as mentioned, except Bloom. Eva Green does a good but forgettable job as Sybilla, Princess of Jerusalem; it isn't her fault that her character is highly underdeveloped. Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons put in decent performances also, though they're mainly cameos. My two favourite performances were Edward Norton as the deformed king of Jerusalem, hiding behind a mask, and Ghassan Massound as Saladin, the surprisingly noble Muslim leader.


It's somewhat of a shame, though, that Kingdom of Heaven is so politically correct. While I can respect the message of religious tolerance the movie preaches and while it's nice that for once the Muslims aren't the stereotypical bad guys, in general everything seemed far too civilized and reasonable for the Dark Ages. I expected sandpaper; I got a bit of silk.

All things said and done, I found this movie to be entertaining; nothing more, and nothing less. It's visually stunning, reasonably well acted with a somewhat decent script and a few nice characters. What it lacks in coherence and story it makes up for with a strong and quick pace (for the genre) and some truly impressive action scenes. Wolfgang Petersson (Troy) and Oliver Stone (Alexander) should watch this before they even think of making another historic epic. A decent night out.

A 63 out of 100.